this post doesn't do our disneyworld experience justice

in may, josh and i celebrated our tenth anniversary by going to disneyworld. we surprised the kids THE DAY OF and it was pretty much the best moment ever.  i was so completely excited i had butterflies in my stomach for days before we told them. 

 

we did two days at magic kingdom and it was the best.  everything was wonderful and magical.  i may have shed a tear or two on our first (and my favorite) ride, peter pan (duh), and during the fireworks i was definitely choking back the tears.  IT WAS JUST THE BEST!

 

 

 

but then, surprise!  we bought four day passes so we were able to come back at the end of may.  so, we were able to surprise the kids with the first two days, and then we were able to tell them we were going back! 

our second trip we did our first day at animal kingdom.  it was AMAZING. i cannot say enough good things about it.  it was beautiful and shady and magical and awesome.  i cried on the safari, i cried during the finding nemo live musical stage show, i cried during the lion king celebration show... oh man, it was all just so glorious.  one of our favorite moments was being all together on the water raft ride... even sawyer.  it was SO much fun.  and then the next day we finished our adventures off at magic kingdom where i cried during the opening song and dance number before they open the park in the morning.  it cannot be helped.  it's just the magic of disney.

macy had a birthday! and a party!

...way to go macy!  and me! even though i throw parties reluctantly (i don't know why) this was a really great party, and i was reminded how fun friend parties are.

macy wanted a circus party.  so naturally, i searched pinterest.  DO NOT DO THIS!!!  i repeat, DO NOT DO THIS!!!!  it was so overwhelming i found myself hyperventilating and feeling the anxiety tighten in my chest.  so, i texted my go-to girl and she talked me down.  phew.  thanks, aubry. pinterest-induced crisis averted.

also, an hour-long conversation with my mom helped.  i was sending the evites (evites!  i know!) and i had to make sure everything was just perfect.  "is this the right wording?" and "is this the right length of time for the party?"  and "can i get away without serving lunch?"  who knew clicking "send" on an evite could be so stressful.  anyway, thanks mom. 

after all my stressing and lost sleep (over what, really? i don't know) the party was great.  it was the perfect day for an outdoor party.  i reserved a pavilion at a park and we played games, ate food (yes, my mom talked me into feeding the children), had cake, and opened presents.  what else do you need?  certainly not pinterest.  in the end, the circus theme was a little lost but guess what... IT DIDN'T MATTER! (mostly i'm yelling that to remind myself.)

macy is wonderful.  she is sweet, she is kind, she is thoughtful, she is loving.  she is the first to say "i love you" and "thanks mom for making dinner".  i couldn't ask for a better seven-year-old.  i just love that girl so much.

the cake... oh, the cake!
disclaimer: i did see this cake on pinterest.
also, aubry talked me through it.

my brother, scott designed the favor graphic. he's so handy.

"out of all my daughters, you are my favorite"

it happened again today.  the urge to say something that sounds exactly like my dad.  i was making oliver lunch and i could hear myself ask him in my head "so oliver... what do you think?"  i didn't say it aloud... he was playing with his cars and absorbed in his car world.  and besides, it probably would have just induced the eye-rolling that the same question from my dad always got out of me as a kid.

"so robin, what do you think?"

(eye roll) "about what, daaaaad?"

"oh i don't know?  life?"

"oh daaaaad..." (another eye roll)

this is not the first time i have witnessed myself transforming into my dad in a small way.  every time i close my eyes and conduct music with my fork while eating (air conducting, my dad is known for it), or anytime i say "poop and tinkle" (my dad's two most favorite words IN THE WORLD), or anytime i blurt out the year a song was released ("1993!  i was a freshman!"), i am channeling my dad.  these are all things that at some point drove me crazy, but now i do them freely.

my dad has had a tough year health-wise.  it started with a heart attack in may, followed by some not-fun complications and symptoms, and most recent, a prostate cancer diagnosis.  (but he's okay! he's gonna be fine!)  but still.  cancer.  radiation.  these are words i never want to associate with anyone i love.

so, next time i find "so ollie, what do you think?" at the tip of my tongue, i'm going to say it proudly.  i'm going to wave that papa dave flag boldly.  even when the eyes start rolling and the "ohhhh  moms" are inescapable i will continue the legacy and react by saying, "poop and tinkle", just like my dad.

and that's a good thing to be.

surfer girl my little surfer girl

when i was in the sixth grade, i fell in love with a red, puffy, 100% silk jacket at express.  oh my goodness i had never loved anything as much as i loved that jacket.  i was obsessed.  it cost $100 and i was determined, DETERMINED to own it.  so, i saved all my babysitting money (was i babysitting when i was eleven?) and i was able to buy that jacket.  i brought it home, protected in its plastic garment bag, convinced my life was complete.  it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  when i wasn't wearing it, i would hang it on its special express hanger in its special express bag, protecting its delicate silk.

anyway, one day in seventh grade, some lame girl spilled a soda all over it.  this is the only time i can remember crying at school.  it was devastating.  the jacket was never quite the same. i had to have it cleaned and its red color was not quite as bright and it lost a lot of its silky smoothness.

there is no point to this story. i've just been thinking about that red jacket and wondering how in the world i had $100 when i was eleven...

i wish i had a picture of that jacket.
but this picture of me in seventh grade will have to do.

when i was at byu-idaho i saw a boy wearing a hollister t-shirt.  (this was probably 2001, so i had never seen this now-ubiquitous brand.)  i got all excited and walked up to him and proclaimed, "hollister!  do you know hollister?!!!"  (hollister is a little town not far from salinas, where i grew up.)  he just looked at me condescendingly and said, "it's a california thing. you wouldn't understand."  EXCUSE ME?!!!!  NO SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!  what a jerk. he was probably one of those guys who lived up on the hill in shelbourne.

recently i realized that i have not exposed my kids to nearly enough beach boys.  the beach boys are the soundtrack to my childhood so i figured i better get on that.  so, i bought a few favorite songs and i'm set to remedy my mistake.  next up, more exposure to john denver and frank sinatra. then they'll be all set.

last week the kids and i went through ALL their toys and bagged up about 80% of it.  no joke. it was the BEST feeling.  as i was putting it all in the car, our neighbor's gardener asked if we were moving!  it was that much stuff!  i'm telling you, i wasn't messing around!  i drove it all to the goodwill and as i was unloading the car i amassed a crowd of spectators that said things to me like, "it looks like SOMEONE'S kids have grown up" and "wow, SOMEONE cleaned house!"  i was laughing on the outside, but crying (slightly) on the inside.  it did represent a certain phase of their childhood being over and that sentimentality was not lost on me.  but those feelings were outweighed by the joy of the purge.

old picture of a previous purge.  but you get the idea.
i love to purge.

congratulate me, i blogged!  also, what's your favorite beach boys song?

his nickname is "grumps"

sawyer had a birthday! he was sick and barfing and took a really long nap, but now he's three!  he is very sweet and a bit of a curmudgeon... a perfect combination.  and he's talking so much now!!! and he plays with cars all day!!!

looking back: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

papa jim

on december 13th, my grandfather passed away.  it had been expected, even longed for, as he had grown more and more uncomfortable in his failing body.

papa was definitely a grandpa of actions.  every time i was near him, he would reach over and rub my back.  always.  as children, when we would visit their house in arizona, he would always borrow a  golf cart from a neighbor because he knew what a thrill we got out of riding around in it.  he would have bikes ready for us equipped with headlights for nightly bike rides. he would have the pool ready with a basketball hoop and pool toys.  he would barbecue the most delicious burgers and make us homemade ice cream.  when i was a teenager, he would sit in his car with me before i drove somewhere to show me where all the buttons and controls were because he knew i was unfamiliar with his car.  once when i was in college, i drove down to arizona with a bunch of friends for a cake concert, and when we arrived he had maps printed out for us to the concert hall and posters on the wall that said, "where's the cake?"  in 2006 when i was pregnant with macy, nana and papa moved to california to live with my parents.  for two years we had the opportunity of living near them and for parker and macy to create a bond with them that is very special.  i have a clear memory of when macy was born and papa weeping over seeing her for the first time.  he cried very easily, but it was still such a sweet moment.  he was a wonderful great-grandfather.

last weekend i went to california for his military burial and memorial service.  i loved having that time to be with my family and to reflect on his life and what he meant to me.  i am grateful for having such a wonderful grandpa... he was the best.

the unblogged

THESE THINGS HAPPENED:

halloween, christmas, oliver's birthday (five!), and josh's birthday (34!).

also, i resolve to blog more.  i picture the long-forgotten, abandoned-for-instagram blog rising from the dust to be glorious again in this new year!!!

the time oliver made mitt romney laugh

it was early sunday morning, october 21.  i was busy getting ready for church. i had to be on time because it was the primary program and i am the pianist.  while hurrying about the house i got a text from my friend, rachel who is in another ward in our stake. "hope your primary has fun performing for mitt today!" i freaked out.  the final debate was taking place the next day here in boca, but the thought hadn't even crossed my mind that he would attend our ward.   what the what?!

my heart was pounding as i finished getting ready.  was i nervous to play the piano for mitt? what was my problem?  WOULD HE HAND OUT MONEY???

as i pulled into the parking lot, my suspicions were confirmed.  police cars, a fire truck, and secret service had invaded the church parking lot.  there were also news reporters and cameras waiting outside.  as i walked in the building a few secret service agents entered the building as well, adding to the ones in the hall and foyer.  as i walked into the chapel there they were... ann and mitt.  sitting in the back row.  like a couple of normal mormons.  no entourage, just a few secret service agents sprinkled throughout the congregation, sitting among families, serious faces and earpieces in place.  we were sitting a few rows in front of them and everything inside of me was screaming to tweet something, or instagram something!!!  anything!!!  all i could think of was how i could get a picture.  but alas, i kept my cool and decided against a totally obvious photo-op.

then it was time for the primary program.  as i was playing all i could think was "mitt romney is here, MITT ROMNEY IS HERE!!!! i'm playing piano for mitt romney!! what if he thinks i'm SO great and asks me to be his campaign pianist?!! IS THERE SUCH A THING?"  it was so hard for me to not just stare the whole time i was up there, because I HAD THE BEST VIEW!  oh what i wouldn't have done to take a picture from up on the stand...

ollie got up to say one of his parts and he had a giggling attack and everyone laughed.  i glanced at mitt and he was chuckling.  thatta boy, ollie.  parker gave her excellent talk on baptism and macy killed it with her big word she had been practicing, "avoiding".  the entire program was awesome and i'm sure mitt and ann LOVED it and had never seen anything more spectacular.

when the meeting was over, secret service rushed mitt out of the building, but not before josh was able to run around the building and get a handshake as he exited.  but ann, poor ann.  mitt left ann to the wolves.  seriously, during sacrament meeting we all held it together, but as soon as that "amen" was said all of our crazy came out.  she just stood there in the foyer as people rotated around her snapping pictures and posing with her like she was a zoo animal.  and i was one of them!  i got my picture!  and the whole time she was saying "i think i'm going to be late for sunday school..."  poor woman.  we mormons be crazy!

josh found this picture on the internet and added the names for clarification.

it was definitely the most exciting thing to ever happen to the boca raton ward.  and i'm sure mitt will never forget the cute sunbeam who made him laugh.  

counting crows and why they have my heart

when i was 14, my brother scott bought "august and everything after".  we would sit together in his room and listen to it, studying the lyrics and memorizing rain king and a murder of one.  it was the first album i ever fell in love with. i still know every word, and every song is ingrained so deeply in my soul.  it sounds dramatic, but it's true.  it's a part of me.

summer of 1994 i was a cheerleader and we had to go to a week-long cheerleading camp.  during the parts that were horrible (mandatory "let's get along" meetings, or watching other squads compete) i would escape to my room and pull out my discman and listen to raining in baltimore on repeat... over and over and over again.  adam duritz was my escape.  and it was sweet.

my first year away from home i had one cd to my name.  "recovering the satellites".  i would listen to it constantly.  it reminded me of home... it reminded me of my time with scott, memorizing lyrics... it reminded me of ME.

fall of 1999 was an interesting time in my life.  their album "this desert life" comforted me.  to this day, just hearing the very beginning of mrs. potter's lullaby makes me want to cry.  the whole album is magical.

tonight a dream came true for me.  after 20 years i finally saw them in concert.  they played EVERY FAVORITE SONG of mine... as if i had requested their playlist.  rain king (my number one favorite song ever), a long december, murder of one, mrs. potter, round here, i wish i was a girl, colorblind, st. robinson.  IT WAS AMAZING.  i stood there all by myself (yes, i went solo...i'm brave! i know!) choked up with tears in my eyes... because once again i was 14, i was 18, i was 20, singing along to the words i still have memorized and the melodies that have been a part of me for so long.

life without cheese

two weeks ago, some good friends left us.  which was pretty rude of them.  they didn't even give me time to think about it.  it was like, "hey, ten days!  we're gone!"  sooooo.... that's been rough.  we had so much fun with the dahls and the quinns for the year they were with us.  i still can't believe they're gone.  STUPID JOBS.  also, everywhere kathryn and i went together people were dumbfounded, shocked, and in awe that we were NOT twins.  e v e r y w h e r e.  and sadly, i have no picture with my twin.  (and actually, kathryn and i ARE twins, in every other way than biological.  we are pretty much the same person.  no joke.)

riley and kaylee, the cutest little girls.  they left us heartbroken!

oh maggie may, we miss you!

oliver is obsessed with baby henry.  and really, who isn't?

josh with sawyer and the quinn boys.  cash and oscar, i love 'em.

paleo is changing my life. i already considered myself a pretty healthy eater, but this has been a real kick in the pants.  i feel it is exactly what i needed to give me just the right amount of a challenge and direction in my diet.  i am a person that does best when i have "a way" of eating.  i am not a normal eater (yes there is such a thing), so i cannot be left to fend for myself.  i need a plan and a purpose. the weight is shedding, but even more important, i feel amazing.  i am excited about cooking (!) and the kids are loving (most of) the meals.  it is also introducing many more possibilities and foods i never would have thought of feeding the kids. and, the biggest news of all, macy ate fish.  and loved it!  i repeat, SHE LOVED IT!

yesterday we faked fall with the rest of florida and went to the "pumpkin patch".  really it's just pumpkins strewn about in a field. but, memories!

so that's it.  i just wanted to talk about my broken heart... and paleo, because that's what all obnoxious annoying-eaters do...

i'm not normal

check out this great family picture...  

...too bad i looked pretty weird so i had to cover me up.  but seriously, the kids!  josh!  my cute vintage shirt! 

i haven't always been perfect

we were all annoying once, right?

i, for one, had a myriad of really neat things i did in my adolescent years that i'm sure drove everyone around me bonkers. there was the time my friend heather and i decided to add "the most" into our dialogue AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.  as in, "he is the most cute." or, "aren't we the most coolest?"  "the most".  (although, to this day, whenever heather and i are together we like to throw in a few "mosts".)  there was also the time my entire freshman cheerleading squad created an unusual word/sound that we used CONSTANTLY.  we never really did come to a consensus on how to spell our word/sound but maybe it looked like this, "OOOOOEEEEERRRRIIIHH!"  we used it in the place of "duh", or "of course", or "i just did something stupid", or "aren't we hilarious?"  and let's remind ourselves what i looked like my freshman year...

...so i'm sure walking around making noises like a fog horn wasn't doing me any favors.

besides these typical adolescent examples, there are however, a handful of incidents that i can clearly recall of very obnoxious things that i did a little too far into my adulthood for me to be comfortable with.  let's revisit some of them...

summer of 1996.  i was 17.  shania twain's song "no one needs to know" was a big hit.  i loved that song and believed i had caught on to the harmonies quite nicely. i had practiced so much in my car and i truly thought i had what it took to be a backup country singer.  one evening i was hanging out with a guy i was kind of dating and that song came on.  i just thought it would be a really good idea to tell him how awesome i was at harmonizing and proceeded to make him SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO ME SING!!!!!!!!!!  (in my defense, i had taken tylenol pm before he called me to hang out... so i was a little loopy.  but there really was no excuse for my behavior.)  

may, 1998.  i was almost 19.  i road tripped with three of my best friends from high school from california to salt lake to see a dave matthews concert.  this was my first real concert and i had no idea what to expect.  i just assumed he would sing his entire album he was promoting ("before these crowded streets") and it would be exactly like the cd.  one of the songs on the album featured alanis morisette... so the entire car ride to utah i was so perplexed at how they would get alanis morisette to go on tour with him to sing backup for ONE song.  i kept saying to my (very patient) friends, "this is gonna be so cool when alanis comes on stage!" or something like, "yeah, but how are they going to get alanis morisette to be at every concert to sing just ONE song?"  i probably repeated myself dozens of times and i don't remember my friends every responding.  OOOEEERRRRRIIIH.

1998-1999.  i lived with gina, often my partner in crime.  the byu building we attended church in was not very far from our apartment building and most of the righteous members of our ward would walk to church every sunday.  but we were lazy and gina would transport us to and from church in ramona, her '94 maroon ford tempo.  it was during these drives that we created a bit of a tradition.  as we drove past our ward members trekking it home from church we would roll down our windows, crank up the music, and loudly sing along with "there is a meetin' here" by our favorite a cappella boy band, 259.  (oh yeah.  it's a real knee-slapper.) we did this EVERY SUNDAY for months.  a lot of the members of 259 were in our ward but we were completely shameless in our fangirling.  not only was our behavior super annoying, it was not very sabbath-appropriate.  shame on us.

here we are with some of the members of 259 whom we coerced into participating in a murder mystery date.

summer, 1999.  i was 20.  i believed my taste in music was superior and that everyone needed to bend to my musical will.  the apartment complex we lived in was a huge fishbowl.  all the apartments faced inward toward a courtyard in the middle and everyone could see and hear everything everyone was doing and be up in each other's business.  i would open our door, and BLAST my music in hopes that everyone would know how cool i was.  cake, indigo girls, dave matthews, and my personal favorite at the time, mr. big's "to be with you".  i assumed everyone loved it!!  who wouldn't?!!  until one day one of the boys in the building walked on over and wordlessly shut our door.  ooh, snap.

aaaannnnyway... wasn't that fun?  i think it's time i go make someone listen to me sing...

oh, macy

today macy asked me a question and i did not know the answer...

macy: "why don't you know? don't moms know everything?"

me: "we know a lot, but not everything." 

macy: "maybe you should go back to college and you can learn those things and become a proper adult."

i probably should, macy.  i probably should.

besides giving helpful education advice, macy learned how to ride a bike!  it was truly exciting to watch her conquer this new skill. i picked up this bike at goodwill and the next afternoon josh took her out and BAM!  she had it!  elbow pads and all.

also, she gave her first talk in primary WITHOUT ANY HELP.  (things like this are truly amazing, because remember?)  <----watch that video.

i am a proud mom.
i may not know anything, but i am proud...