macy

tomorrow i'm supposed to send macy off for her first day of preschool. and by "sending off" i mean driving her there and leaving her (crying, undoubtedly) in a room she's only seen twice with a teacher she's only seen twice (although, she is very nice). what? how am i supposed to do that? i thought i was ready to send her to preschool, but inside i feel like i'm slamming on the emotional brakes and thinking maybe i'm not so okay with it after all. i've been cruising along thinking "oh yeah, preschool will be great for her" but . . . but . . . she's my baby girl. that's even what she calls herself. i'll tell her she's such a big girl and she says, "no, me baby girl". she knows.

before i had oliver i told everyone that macy would always be my baby. i just knew she would always have that title in my heart. with parker everything was so new and exciting, i couldn't wait for all those milestones and i remember them all. however, with macy, when i think back, i've forgotten a lot. and in a way, that's kept her a baby in my mind.

i don't know if i'm ready to let her grow up . . . okay, i know i'm not. tomorrow is going to be tough. there will be crying. from both of us. . .