buddy, part two

today we had the "buddy" talk.

(i wasn't really ready to have it, but parker overheard a friend talking to me about my upcoming california trip.)

  "you're going to california?" parker asked.

i said yes, and then she enthusiastically asked, "me too?"

i told her yes . . . and then the first thing out of her mouth was,

"to see buddy!"

uh oh.

we were at a play group, so that wasn't the time to tell her, so i didn't say anything.  fortunately she didn't wait for a response and she went over to macy and excitedly told her the news.

later, over lunch, i felt i needed to bring it up.  i told her we are going to california in about two weeks . . . just me, her, macy and oliver, and that daddy wasn't able to go.

she said, "daddy isn't coming because he has school.  but he's going to miss buddy!"

and then before i could say anything she continued, so happily, "i can't wait to play with the ball with buddy . . . i'll throw it and he'll run after it!"

i could feel tears come to my eyes.  i told her buddy doesn't live with grammy, papa dave, nana, and papa jim anymore.  i told her buddy had to go back to the animal shelter that grammy got him from.

"but we only got to see him that one time . . ." she said sadly.  (that "one time" is what she refers to as the month where we were living with my parents after they got buddy.)

i told her that he had bit nana really badly so they had to give him back.  she looked at me so sadly, and her little lip started to quiver and she began that sad, sad cry.  i choked up and couldn't say anything more and i held her on my lap and we cried together.  

there's something about seeing your child be so sincerely emotional.  it really broke my heart.  she cried on my lap for a while . . . and the whole time macy was saying, "orry baw-boo" (sorry parker) and i couldn't think of anything else to say.

after she calmed down a little i asked her if she wanted to finish her lunch.

"no, i don't anymore.  not after you told me that about buddy."

later we were able to get excited about our trip thinking of all the fun things we'll get to do.

"go to the aquarium!"

"go to the beach!"

"super taqueria!"

i feel better now that she knows and hopefully she'll be able to focus on all the fun we'll have, and not be too sad anymore.  

i sure hope so.